This morning, I was laying on the carpet in my office trying to sneak away to get some personal time before the entire house woke up. The sun was barely peaking through. The windows were still foggy and I knew I needed to pray and speak with Jesus, but I just couldn't muster up the words. So, I laid there for a few moments and then heard my phone buzz. I grabbed it to look at the notification (still working on that...) and it was an email from Pray More Novenas that today was the start of the St. Anne novena. I've prayed this novena many times before, but this time felt different. I immediately had a thought that I should ask St. Anne to be a mother to me.
I have always asked Mother Mary to be a mother to me, but it dawned on me that St. Anne raised Mary, the coolest woman ever, and so I bet she could take my imperfect self and help me out a bit.
St. Anne, be a mother to me now.”
And honestly, I felt nothing. I prayed the novena and sat in silence for a bit until the baby cried and I had to run to comfort him.
But even though I felt nothing at the time, I know that St. Anne is up there interceding for me and I am going to finish the novena with the intentions of helping me be a better mother to my children and for my children to love Jesus with all of their heart forever.
Even though I talk often about being “held” as a woman, by God, by your body, by your nervous system, I hadn’t realized how deeply I still longed to be mothered.
Not just spiritually by Mary, though she is always with me.
Not just emotionally through prayer or mindset work.
Not just physically through nourishing food, rest, or regulation.
But mothered in the quiet, generational, earthy way.
In the hidden spaces.
In the dailiness.
In the waiting.
In the not-yet.
I needed St. Anne.
Why St. Anne?
St. Anne was the mother of Mary. The grandmother of Jesus. A woman who lived decades of longing before her motherhood came to be. We know so little about her and yet, her motherhood changed everything.
She raised the woman who would raise the Son of God.
She formed the heart that would say “yes” to the Incarnation.
She mothered the one whose own fiat would ripple across eternity.
Which is why I think her quiet presence is so powerful for women like you and me: women healing from birth trauma, exhaustion, spiritual dryness, nervous system dysregulation, and the soul-deep ache of feeling like you have to hold it all together.
Here is what I see in myself and the women that I support.
Most high-achieving women have never truly felt mothered.
Not in the way that heals.
Not in the way that grounds.
Not in the way that holds space for your full humanity.
The Unmothered Woman: A Hidden Wound
You know what I mean, right?
Maybe you had a good mom. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe you had love and stability. Maybe you didn’t.
But, somewhere along the way, like so many of the women I work with, you picked up this belief:
“I am too much. I am not enough. I must handle it myself. I must control things so I can be safe.”
The world praised you for it.
You became self-reliant. Capable. Put-together. You birthed a baby and held the world together afterward. You kept moving, even when your body said stop. You performed healing instead of receiving it.
And your nervous system? It learned to survive, but not to rest. You're a PRO at saying, "I'm fine, everything's fine," when things actually aren't that fine.
This is the ache that brings so many women into my world.
They’ve tried therapy. They’ve done the journaling.
They’ve white-knuckled their way through healing.
Deep down, they are still unmothered.
This is why I teach what I teach.
Because you can’t regulate a body that doesn’t feel safe to receive.
You can’t heal a soul that doesn’t feel safe to rest.
You can’t access God if your body believes love must be earned.
What If You Let Yourself Be the Daughter?
Here’s what hit me this morning in prayer:
Even Mary was a daughter.
Even she had to be mothered.
Even she had to be formed in the hidden places of Anne’s womb and home.
So why do we think we don’t need that too?
If Mary was mothered by Anne, if Jesus was held in Mary’s body, if the Incarnation came through a lineage of women who received before they ever gave…
Then your healing might begin there, too.
Not in doing more.
Not in fixing yourself.
Not in checking off another spiritual to-do list.
**In letting yourself be mothered.**
Held.
Formed.
Met in your smallness.
What Does This Have to Do with What I'm Feeling Right Now?
Everything.
Because the wound of the unmothered woman doesn’t just show up in your mind. It shows up in your body.
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In the shame that flares up after you yell at your kids.
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In the tension that never leaves your shoulders.
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In the inability to receive help or believe you’re worth it.
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In the way you collapse in isolation or brace for disappointment.
What I’ve found again and again is this: The body remembers what the soul tried to forget.
That’s why birth trauma isn't just about what happened in the delivery room.
It’s about what was already there -unprocessed, buried, or dismissed.
It’s about how your body was never taught to feel safe in surrender.
This is where St. Anne comes in.
She reminds us that slow, hidden, sacred preparation changes everything.
She reminds us that motherhood is forged long before birth.
She reminds us that sometimes the most healing thing we can do is let ourselves be held, especially when no one else sees.
A Practice for You This Week:
Whether or not you pray novenas, whether or not you’ve ever talked to a saint in your life - try this:
At the end of the day, place your hand over your heart.
Take a slow breath in.
And whisper:
“St. Anne, be a mother to me.”
Just that.
And then listen.
Notice what arises.
Let yourself be the daughter.
Maybe that’s where your healing begins.
If this stirred something in you, you are not alone.
Inside The Dwelling Place, we are reclaiming these ancient rhythms and sacred relationships.
Inside HELD, we’re re-training your nervous system to receive love and rest.
Inside Restored by Grace, we’re uncovering the spiritual roots of the symptoms no one could explain.
This is the work.
This is the path.
Here's your invitation <3
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