If you have ever replayed a confession in your head like a courtroom transcript, wondered whether that fleeting thought counted as a sin, or felt an urgent need to “check one more time” just to be sure, you probably struggle with scrupulosity (same, sister!)
Scrupulosity has a way of disguising itself as devotion. It often looks like care, seriousness, and reverence. Underneath, however, it usually feels like exhaustion. The kind that comes from being constantly on guard... with God. What many faithful women do not realize is that scrupulosity is not only a spiritual struggle. It is also a nervous system pattern.
A well-formed conscience is meant to guide us with clarity and peace. Scrupulosity does the opposite. It creates urgency, doubt, and relentless self-monitoring. Instead of drawing the soul closer to God, it keeps the heart braced, scanning for mistakes. Scripture tells us that perfect love casts out fear. When fear becomes the primary driver of the spiritual life, something has gone out of alignment. That misalignment is not always theological confusion. Often, it is biological.
Your Nervous System Has Been Very Busy
The nervous system exists to keep you alive. It scans for danger, responds to threat, and adjusts your internal state accordingly. When it senses safety, it allows reflection, connection, and trust. When it senses threat, it moves into survival mode and survival mode loves certainty.
For a nervous system shaped by pressure, unpredictability, or early responsibility, mistakes can feel dangerous. Ambiguity feels intolerable. Silence feels suspicious. And, mercy, strangely enough, can feel risky.
This is fertile ground for scrupulosity, not because the soul desires evil, but because the body has learned that getting it wrong is not safe. When faith enters this equation, fear often learns religious language. Anxiety borrows theology. The same survival patterns continue, only now they wear spiritual clothing.
So many of us try to add in checkpoints in our lives to make sure that we do XYZ. Pray the Rosary. Read the scripture. Attend the mass. We are trying to reassure ourselves that we are doing a good job. But, if reassurance worked, scrupulosity would be easy to solve. A wise priest says, “That is not a sin,” and the story ends happily ever after.
Except it rarely does. Reassurance calms the mind. It does not retrain the nervous system. A dysregulated nervous system does not respond to logic alone. It responds to safety.
This is also why scrupulosity tends to worsen during seasons of exhaustion, postpartum recovery, grief, illness, or high responsibility. When the body’s capacity is low, threat perception increases. The conscience starts shouting because the nervous system already is.
The spiritual tradition has long recognized that fear clouds discernment. St. Ignatius warned explicitly about scrupulosity for this reason. God does not speak through panic or urgency. He speaks in peace, even when His invitations are challenging.
Clear discernment requires freedom >> Freedom requires safety >> Safety begins in the body.
Nervous system regulation is not a modern add-on to the spiritual life. It is a return to order. Regulation does not mean lowering moral standards or numbing conscience. It means restoring the body to a state where conscience can function as intended. When the nervous system settles, urgency softens. Mental loops loosen. Trust has room to grow.
Why Creativity Matters More Than You Think
One of the most important antidotes to scrupulosity is creativity.
From the opening lines of Scripture, God reveals Himself not first as a rule-giver, but as a Creator. He speaks, shapes, orders, and brings life into being. When He makes the human person, He makes us in His image. To be made in the image of God is to create.
Creativity is not a hobby reserved for artists. It is a core expression of human design. Biologically, creativity helps regulate the nervous system. It shifts the brain out of threat-scanning and into integration. The body receives the signal that it is safe enough to explore, express, and play.
Scrupulosity turns the interior life into surveillance. Creativity gently reopens it into relationship. When you create, you practice trust. You allow something to emerge without controlling every outcome. You step out of perfectionism and into participation. In this way, creativity becomes a deeply theological act. It mirrors the posture of faith itself.
Healing scrupulosity is not about caring less about holiness. It is about learning to relate to God without fear. This kind of healing does not happen through willpower or repeated reassurance. It happens by restoring safety in the nervous system so that faith can be lived freely.
This is what I explore in depth in the podcast episode on scrupulosity and the nervous system. In the episode, I walk through the theology, the biology, and the lived experience of scrupulosity, and explain how healing happens at the root, not by managing symptoms, but by restoring order.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to listen to the full episode. It will feel like someone finally turned the lights on in a room you have been navigating in the dark.
You can also learn more about Restored by Grace, my signature program for women who want to heal the nervous system patterns shaping their faith and interior life. This work is slow, reverent, and deeply faithful, and it is designed to restore trust where fear has taken over.
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