Hyper-independence looks like strength, but it often comes from a wound. Somewhere along the way, you learned that needing was unsafe, that asking made you a burden, that if you didn’t handle it all yourself, everything might fall apart. So you did. You became the one everyone could count on. You got good at carrying it all, staying calm, showing up, pushing through.
Here’s the cost: your nervous system is always slightly on edge, bracing for the next thing. Your body never fully rests. You’re strong, but you’re also tired. Spiritually, hyper-independence convinces you that you can’t trust anyone, not even God. That safety is something you have to create and control, rather than receive. God doesn’t just want your resilience. He wants your surrender. He wants to father you, to hold you, to teach you that safety comes not from doing more, but from being known and loved.
Healing isn’t about becoming helpless, it’s about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone. True strength is rooted in safety, not fear. And when your nervous system finally feels safe, you’ll notice: peace doesn’t mean less responsibility. It just means you don’t carry it all with clenched fists anymore.
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